Thursday, 29 December 2016

Book Review of "Catcher in the Rye"

Dialogue between me and a friend about a novel I suggested him. The unusual vocabulary is straight out of the pages of said novel, in case you need to refer.

Me: So, was it worth it?

He: Swell, it was darn right swell!

Me (shaking my head bemusedly) : I take it you found the story-line to be of your liking.

He: The Catcher in the Rye? It was "Grand".

Me: You do remember how despised a description "Grand" was in the opinion of the author, right?

He (patronizingly) : Yeah, yeah. He found the term "phony". You wanna know MY opinion about HIS opinions?

Me (unimpressed) : Not really. But, I suppose you'll tell me nevertheless.

He (ranting speech) : So, I think he thought everything was either a "phony" or a "swell"; every person was an "old chap". He could have been best-buds with The Great Gatsby for all his theatrics about the "old sport". Everything that was even moderately out-of-the-norm "killed" him! And, the biggest sore in my eye was the "sonuvabitch" shit! I mean, what self-respecting sixteen-year old doesn't know how to say "son of a bitch"? He thought his brother was a "prostitute" for "selling his talent" of writing, to the Hollywood? Well, what business was he settling, for being involved with a prostitute of his own? He was the biggest "corny" if ever there was one. He always "meant it when he did something" and within a blink, realized that he hadn't actually meant it. He wrote an entire novel of close to two hundred pages, doing nothing but whining and cribbing!

Me (shocked) : It is a CLASSIC! Every single individual who read it, was deeply affected in some way. Didn't it change or move ANYthing inside you?

He (high and mighty) : Not one damn thing! It was a sheer waste of my Christmas dough!

Me: You mean waste of your-

He: -waste I tell you!

(He leaves still complaining about waste of "dough" which is in J.D. Salinger's words, a replacement for "money".)

Me (laughing) : Something did change in him after all, just not something I would have imagined.

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